The Night Of The Green Woman From Outer Space
by Andamogirl
Summary: Episode-tag. This story takes place directly after the end of TNOT Flying Pie Plate. James West and Artemus Gordon meet a lovely green alien woman. You can read the continuation of the story here: TNOT Trek among the stars (a WWW/Star Trek TOS crossover).


**THE NIGHT OF THE GREEN WOMAN FROM OUTER SPACE**

 **By Andamogirl**

Author's note: season 2. This story takes place directly after the end of TNOT Flying Pie Plate. Episode-tag to the tag. Vignette. One shot.

Challenge issued by Tripidydoodah: write a vignette, two pages maximum, either during, before, or after a WWW episode.

WWW

 _Somewhere in the South-West…_

Eyes wide open with both stupefaction and fear – but mostly with fear, and not hiding the fact, because he never hid his emotions, Artemus Gordon pointed with a trembling finger (the rest of his body trembling too) at the flying pie plate that had landed in the middle of the mesa. It was glowing bright blue and emitting a strange whirring sound, the same sound they had heard in the Wanderer while they had watched the very big ball of blue light falling down from the sky an hour ago. "It's… it's not a meteorite like we thought, Jim."

Using his spyglass James West, kneeling hidden behind a bush, was surveying the flying machine. It was made of silvery metal, with no visible openings. It had a large hexagonal, dome-shaped form in the middle with a white blinking light on the top and on the side of the 'plate'. It was held up on black metallic, articulated "legs", like gigantic insect legs. "Like _you_ thought, Artie," he corrected. "As for myself, I thought it was something else entirely… I thought it could be a real flying machine from space." He grinned. "And I was right. That's why we came here, following the blue light, to investigate. It's so exciting! So thrilling!" He exulted.

Standing behind the trunk of a tree, the older man shook his head. "You came here and I followed, and I don't find this exciting and thrilling, as you do, but scary!" He specified. "You're a magnet for trouble, Jim. I couldn't let you come here without me to help you in case something happened – and I'm sure that something will happen now, because I have just jinxed us by saying that." He gestured toward the extraterrestrial machine. "It's a real flying pie plate, Jim – not a phony one, this time. It could be very, very dangerous."

Jim chuckled. "Because the other one wasn't dangerous perhaps? It exploded and left a crater the size of a house in the countryside, remember."

Furrowing his brow Artie sighed. "You know what I mean. That flying pie plate could be loaded with weaponry we can't even imagine and we could be killed!"

Jim nodded. "I think that we should stop calling such a wondrous machine that: flying pie plate! It's such a ridiculous name, don't you think?"

Artemus rolled his eyes. "Okay. As it looks more like a saucer than a pie plate I suggest 'flying saucer'. What do you think?" It was a joke.

Glancing at Artie, Jim smiled. "It's still a ridiculous name, but it has a nice ring to it. I like it. You named one thing, it's my turn next. I'm wondering why that flying saucer came here. Maybe it has some technical problems, or maybe it's a first contact, they want to meet humans …"

Artie blanched. "Before an invasion of Earth! They're maybe scouts!"

Jim spotted a long pipe coming out from one 'leg' of the flying saucer. It was running along the thick grass to end a little further on in a pond. "They're pumping water… They came here to refill with water! I wonder why they need water…"

Looking gloomy Artie deadpanned, "Probably to boil their prisoners before eating them." Then he blanched realizing it could happen. His vivid imagination kicked in and he started imagining horrible ways to die, such as being cut into pieces before being boiled or… "They could do a vivisection on us. Oh dear God!" he breathed, horrified.

Jim put his spyglass back in the inner pocket of his jacket and said, "They will probably start with you as you are more 'fleshy' than me…" Earning a black look from his best friend he chuckled. "Just joking. Come on, Artie; let's have a closer look at this flying saucer. With a little luck we'll see the crew, maybe lovely girls from outer space…"

Shaking his head Artemus just said, "No." He crossed his arms on his chest. "Let's go back to the train before something very bad happens – like you and I being killed by the creatures piloting that machine. They could be monsters, you know, human eaters…"

Patting his partner's arm reassuringly Jim said, "Nothing's going to happen, Artie. Come on buddy. What happened to your scientific curiosity?"

Mopping sweat from his forehead with the back of his sleeve Artemus said, "It stayed safely in the lab – where I should be right now."

Grabbing Artie's arm Jim stood up, "Let's go!"

Zigzagging from a bush to a tree, from a tree to a big rock, from a big rock to a boulder, they moved closer to the flying saucer. Un-holstering his Colt Jim, curiosity-driven, forgot any caution and headed toward one of the 'insect-like' legs of the huge machine.

Muttering under his breath, Artie grabbed his gun too. "Damnit Jim! You're impossible!" he whispered. He was on his way to join his adventurous and reckless partner when he froze on the spot – seeing an oval opening materialize on the hull where nothing was visible before. He blinked as he was blinded by a powerful white light emanating from inside the vehicle.

Squinting, he saw a human-shaped form moving down a ramp that had appeared just as mysteriously as the opening. He noticed a movement and something resembling a gun… and immediately reacted, aiming at the dark silhouette heading in his direction. He was suddenly hit by a green beam of energy, square in his chest and collapsed, with a grunt, to the ground, grimacing in pain. He tried to move, but discovered that he was completely paralyzed. He couldn't even speak. He started to panic. He heard, "Artie!" coming from a worried Jim. 'It's too dangerous! Stay where you are Jim!' he thought. But it was no use. His throat felt closed up and no sound came out. He couldn't even groan in frustration.

James immediately rushed toward his fallen best friend to help him and shot at a… at a beautiful bright-red-haired and pale-green-skinned woman, with cat-like ears, wearing a golden tight-fitting suit and an orange gun belt. He stopped dead in his tracks, totally stunned – and totally smitten. She was smiling, her left hand rose, level with her breasts – the bullet floating in the air, suspended an inch away from her palm.

He blinked twice. "What?"

She held a kind of gun in her other hand, he finally noticed. But too late. She fired. Jim too was hit by a green beam of energy coming from the woman's gun; which he immediately named ray-gun, before crumpling to the ground in his turn, beside his partner, wincing. He tried to move, but couldn't. He tried to say 'Ow!' but nothing came out from his throat. Even his vocal cords were immobilized.

Moving toward Artemus, the green alien woman ignored Jim, only interested by the green Artie, lying on the grass, spread-eagled, defenseless. She surveyed his body with visible appreciation, then straddled his hips. Artie was suddenly very relieved to be paralyzed… everywhere. She tilted her head, and observed Artie's green face with curiosity, running a hand over his chest. She touched his face with unnaturally warm hands, and stroked the wavy dark hair away from the human's brow. "Nice color. If you were an Altaran male, I would kidnap you here and now and I would add you to my vre'ed'anj and make my favorite of you. But having non-Altaran males as sex-slaves is forbidden by the law, that's too bad, you would have been perfect." She said. She leaned toward him and Artie could see that she had beautiful too-green sparkling eyes. Panic was replaced by intense curiosity and pleasure. She kissed his lips, and then traced them with a fingertip. "You're a very handsome male… you shouldn't wear so many clothes… and let people see how perfect you are, but it doesn't matter, I can see through them…" She licked her darker green lips, purring loudly. "Mrrrmmm…"

She let out a soft laugh, licked Artie's nose playfully, stood and headed back to her ship.

Shortly after, the pipe retracted inside one of the 'legs,' and the flying saucer took off. It rose rapidly into the night sky, where it hovered for a moment and suddenly accelerated at an incredible speed, to vanish a split second later.

The two men regained control of their bodies at the same time, half an hour later, feeling pins and needles everywhere. Jim helped Artie to move into a sitting position and patted his shoulder. "I told you that you look good in green buddy." Then he chuckled.

Jim finally stood up and Artemus copied him. "I think so…," Artie said. "Did you see that? She had cat-like ears! Did she have a tail too? And she purred! Really purred." Rubbing his chest, where the ray of paralyzing light had hit him, Artemus nodded. "A sex slave. Me? I'm torn between pride and fear." He frowned, his brain boiling with questions. "Altaran? Where is it? She was speaking English, how is it possible? She's not from Earth. But maybe she came here before as a scout. What was that gun? What kind of energy does it use? How is it possible that…?" He stopped, blinking twice, finally realizing something. "She could see through my clothes?" He blushed crimson. "Then she saw me naked? But how? How is it possible to see through someone's clothes? And…"

Smiling Jim rolled his eyes. Artemus had started babbling. He would theorize for hours, if not days. The walk back to the Wanderer would be long. Very long, he mused.

The end.


End file.
